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Newsletter August 2015

Month Long Observances

Of the 26 listed worldwide the National Goat Cheese Month in America sounds interesting, especially set alongside the Absent Editor Month which, to be truthful, has been pretty fruitless. In terms of contributions that is. Trying to create something readable from a distance is a bit like expecting Placido Domingo to make a job of “Jumping Jack Flash”? “La Traviata” by Black Sabbath or Grateful Dead? In golfing parlance not exactly ham and egging? So, it might well come to pass that August sets a newsletter record for brevity. To the relief of some, no doubt. Les Wicks kindly stood in for me where the camera was concerned but there are no action shots this month, no sneaky intrusions into golf bags, no fashion comment, just beaming bottle clutchers, and dutiful captains trying to make each smile as natural as possible. Not easy?

For anyone the least bit interested it can be reported that August in England was partly nice, sunny but cool, with the rare hot day and far from rare deluges. It was golf-less, exercise-less, almost fresh air-less, but we did get to meet the twins. In the growing flesh. Born one minute apart and still less than 3kgs after eight weeks in their new world. All proceeding according to plan though. Father Simon already has their sporting future planned out. Rowing for Leander. Leading England to success in the Six Nations and World Cup. Winning both singles and doubles at Wimbledon and the consequent re-naming of Henman’s Hill/Murray’s Mount as Perry’s Pinnacle. So far no mention of marrying Miss Universe?

Newsletter August 2015
Another Jack in Lilian’s life
Newsletter August 2015
Meanwhile Great Jack looks after Felix

Summer Greensomes

This annual event is organised and hosted by Sonya Foster & James Reid and is popular despite the format! This is partly due to the traditional hospitality, which is generous, and prizes which are fought for keenly. Not too surprisingly there were more ladies playing than men. Indeed five of the pairings were ladies, for whom a separate competition was included, which resulted in Jill Davies & Val Penney stepping forward as winners. Nearest the Pin awards went to Sonya and Johan van Westerhoven whilst the top three in the central battle were:

1st 42 Chris Park & Pedro Batista
2nd 41 Cees Lagerwerf & Ron Chesterton (on count back)
3rd 41 Mike Fisher & Val Wicks

Newsletter August 2015
Chris Park
Newsletter August 2015
Cees & Ron
Newsletter August 2015
Mike & Val
Newsletter August 2015
Nearest the pin winners: Johan Van Wershoven
Newsletter August 2015
Nearest the pin winners: Sonya Foster
Newsletter August 2015
Jill & Val, best ladies score


In all there were 48 players and 52 at table. “Copious” is an adjective which crops up in most such reports. Suffice to say wine was “abundant in supply or quantity” and, it has been mentioned, enjoyed more than fully by some.

Apparently there was a major traffic jam on the 11th tee where no less than five groups were crowded into the quite small area. “It was so bad we decided to have two groups tee off, then drive down and wait for the next two groups to tee off before putting out. Balls and buggies were flying everywhere. It was chaos. Other than that it was a good event. Great food. Very summerlike with mostly lovely salads and some sliced beef for the carnivores.” Mention of which brings to mind a friend who is a vegetarian and won’t eat anything that can have children.

Newsletter August 2015
Traffic jam on Asia’s 11th

Consistency League Tables

It is unavoidable but these will always be a month adrift in the Newsletter. However, for those who cannot see the notice board, here are the standings as at the end of last month.

Cometh the last minute, cometh the man. In this case David Evans, Curator of Consistency in the club. As a result please ignore the preceeding paragraph and welcome the latest statistics, all of which indicate some seriously decent golf over a long period?

 Name Events Average
 1 Libby Robinson 27 33.67
 2 Jill Davies  22  33.42
 3 Carol Rees  21  33.17
 4  Karen O’Connor  24  32.67
 5  Lily Lagerwerf  16  32.42
 6  Ria van Wershoven  25  32.33
 7  Wendy Hinds  16  32.17
 8  Hazel Gilchrist  19  32.17
 9  Val Wicks  25  32.00
10  Ritva Hagglund  24 31.67
Name Events Average
1 Roy Davies 20 34.25
2 Arthur O’Connor 23 34.08
3 Alan Jewett 20 33.50
4 Les Wicks 26 33.42
5 David Evans 25 33.08
6 Bob Syversen 13 33.00
7 Mike Tait 25 32.67
8 Peter Penney 14 32.58
9 Gordon Edwards 21 32.58
10 Dean Moore 18 32.17


Stableford. Asia. Tuesday 4/8

A special day for Jeff Owen who chalked up a second successive Tuesday first place.
1st 34 Carol Rees
2nd 33 Jill Davies
3rd 30 Hazel Gilchrist
1st 34 Jeff Owen
2nd 33 Andrew Park
3rd 33 Les Wicks (on handicap)

Newsletter August 2015
Jill, the only one on parade
Newsletter August 2015
Les, equally lonely


Those were the days?

By chance an old entry form surfaced recently, dated 1973. On a prestigious course, including coffee/roll on arrival, 36 holes, lunch, tea, gratuities and VAT at a total cost of — £5.75
No buggy though!

Rainbow Texas Scramble. Asia. Saturday 8/8

Early rain made the name of the competition more relevant but there is no mention of anything colourful being seen before, come afternoon, conditions dried up.
1st 56.4 Bill Field, Chris Park, Steve Tomlin, Val Wicks.
2nd 57.8 Iain Macaulay, James Reid, Joy Garvey, Richard Hinds.
3rd 59.7 Johan van Wershoven, Jill Davies, Louis Lenterlink, Brian Farmer

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

Agony Aunt ElLA CALAmity

New readers, if any, should be reminded that this now regular feature is nothing to do with the Editor, other than he cuts out any dubious bits, but is contributed by an anonymous member, sex indeterminate.
“Dear ElLA,
Please help me with my identity crisis. I am a red blooded male, well versed in manly pursuits eg.,rugby, beer, leaving the seat up, but some of my friends have started calling me “Tessa”. Whilst not an unpleasant name in itself(lovely ring to it, don’t you think?)I feel they are being unkind. It seems to be something to do with Olympic Gold Medallist Tessa Sanderson and my habit of hurling my golf clubs javellin style after an errant shot. Yours, Paddy O’Heater”
“Dear Paddy, or Tessa,
Have you tried senior shafts? They are lighter with more flex for distance. ElLa Calamity”

Stableford. Europa. Tuesday 11/8

1st 38 Jenny Chesterton (cut 0.9 to 16.9)
2nd 36 Jill Davies (cut 0.3 to 12.8)
3rd 34 Mary Evans
1st 38 Chris Park (cut 0.6 to 7.2)
2nd 33 Roy Davies
3rd 33 Dean Moore (on handicap)

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

AM/AM. America. Saturday 15/8

1st 87 Ritva Hagglund, Peter Robinson, David Gilchrist (only a 3 person team)
2nd 86 Jill Davies, Peter Penney, Hazel Gilchrist, Les Wicks.
3rd 85 Alan Jewett, Iain Macaulay, Pauline Hilliard (only a 3 person team)

Newsletter August 2015
David, Ritva & Peter
Newsletter August 2015
Peter, Hazell, Jill & Les
Newsletter August 2015
Alan, Pauline & Iain

Andre Reu Appreciation Society

Although not claiming to be a real or knowledgeable music lover one can confess to enjoying the colourful concerts performed all over the world. Mexico recently was especially animated. The multi-instrumentalist lady from South Africa always catches the eye, not least when playing the bagpipes. Reminds me of Iain Macaulay in days of yore, although better looking, of course.

Medal. Asia. Tuesday. 18/8

1st 82 Hazel Gilchrist (plus 0.1 to 21.4)
2nd 81 Carol Rees (plus 0.1 to 12.4
3rd 77 Ria van Wershoven
1st 73 David Evans
2nd 74 David Gilchrist
3rd 75 Arthur O’Connor

Newsletter August 2015
Ria, and not for the first time this season
Newsletter August 2015
Carol, always there for thereabouts


It was announced at the prize giving that the very popular Margaret Turley, wife of Denis, had passed away after a long period of ill health. Everyone present who knew her signed a condolence card which will by now be with her husband. Our thoughts are with you, Denis.

Newsletter August 2015

Cudeca Presentation

The club’s Captains and Vice Captains visited the Cudeca hospice in Benalmadena to present a cheque for 7000 euros to founder Joan Hunt, this being the proceeds of the Cudeca Cup day in July, to which many members contributed in different ways. Afterwards our representatives were given a tour of the facilities and were un-surprisingly impressed. The work done by this Charity is remarkable and deserves every support. Large or small and, mentioning the latter, if members have any old birthday or Christmas cards sitting in a drawer out of sight and mind, these would be most welcome. They can be re-cycled so creatively by patients, thus giving them a worthy interest, and then sold in the shops.

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

Ladies Social Golf Day. Asia. Thursday 20/8

Bramble ruled. Again! What did we do before them? Five teams competed with two scores counting and in the end Rosa Hatz, Jenny Chesterton, Ria van Wershoven and Lotta Syversen came first with an enormous 105 points. Trailing way back with a mere(!) 93 points came Ritva Hagglund, Karen O’Connor, Wendy Hinds & Jill Davies. Nearest the Pin prizes went to Lotta and Hazel Gilchrist. The word “copious” does not appear in the report. In fact there was no report as such.

Newsletter August 2015
Chasing pack
Newsletter August 2015
Runaway Winners

A theme as long as history

In recent years the annual Women Against Men day, or WAM as it has come to be known in these acronymic times, has proven a social highlight in the calendar. Thanks to the enthusiasm, organisational skills, and generosity of Vic and Pauline Hlliard. This year took a twist though because, unaided by creative scorecard entries, he emerged as winner of the Mens’ and thus enjoyed the pleasure of accepting a prize from his wife. Others who fared well on Sunday 23rd., were;

1st 39 Jil Davies (and not for the first time)
2nd 36 Lilly Lagerwerf
3rd 34 Lotta Syversen
1st 37 Vic Hilliard
2nd 36 Peter Bradley
3rd 36 Peter Robinson (on handicap)

Bottles of gin were earned by Lilly Lagerwerf and David Gilchrist for being Nearest the Pin winners, whilst the BIG result of the day was victory for the Men. They averaged 30.31 points whilst the Ladies fell a shade short at 29.18
Sitting watching the rain fall incessantly in Hampshire was poor consolation for not being able to accept the usual invitation.

Newsletter August 2015
Host, Organiser, and Champion, with his wife Pauline
Newsletter August 2015
Jill Davies, Ladies’ Winner and Best Scorer of the day

Four Clubs & a Putter. Asia. Saturday 22/8

1st 39 Carol Rees
2nd 36 Lilly Lagerwerf
3rd 36 Libby Robinson (on handicap)
1st 37 James Zeffert
2nd 37 Bill Field (on handicap)
3rd 36 James Reid

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

The Two Winners

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

Runner Ups

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

Still competitive

The future is bright

Newsletter August 2015

It has been announced that next year’s Vice Captains will see a continuation of the family theme in the distinctive styles of Bobo & Lotta Syversen. It will be more than interesting to see what new ideas they bring to the table. There are bound to be some? Meanwhile, hearty congratulations to this very popular couple, and successful golfers. They are back in the La Cala fold now but whilst at home in Sweden Lotta managed to finish second in the Regional Ladies Over 55 competition, whilst Bobo went a stage further by winning his club’s Matchplay Championship fought over 7 rounds!

I’m forever blowing bubbles

Some may be aware that Richard Hinds and your Editor share a similar burden. A life long romance with West Ham United FC. A relationship which has seen highs and lows, as do most, but belief and expectation are unflinching. “They fly so high, nearly reach the sky. Then like our dreams they fade and die”. Richard and I manage to contain our emotions though, unlike former Captain Mike Fisher, a rabid Arsenal supporter who can be heard at some distance when yet another chance goes begging for want of a shot instead of an extra pass. Once likened to Michael Farage on steroids one fears he, like Richard and I, are in for another roller coaster of a season.

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

By the way, Lyrics and Music by Jaan Kenbrovin and John William Kellette(1919). Sound like a couple of good old East Enders? In fact, and notta lotta people know this, Jaan Kenbrovin was a collective pseudonym, and the song is American! Written for “The Passing Show” on Broadway. The list of artists with whom it has been since associated is impressive and includes Woody Allen, Doris Day, Spike Jones, James Cagney, Glenda Jackson and, not least, the Bonzo Dog Band. Harpo Marx played it on clarinet with, predictably, real bubbles emerging. “Professor” Jimmy Edwards had it as his signature tune. Charlie Paynter, the then manager, was the man who brought it to West Ham in the 1920’s and, as recently as the 2012 Olympics, it appeared in the soundtrack at the Stadium. We are in good company Richard? (Happy Ed. Later. There may be a link between the Hammers and a Passing Show but what a performance they put on at Anfield yesterday!!!!)

Three years ago today

It is August 25th as the newsletter grows on my keyboard. It is dark grey overhead, the rain is falling ferociously, and the trees are swaying to the rythum of the winds. Depressing to the nth degree. Then, courtesy of my Screen Saver, appeared this picture, taken of the Olympics three years ago this very day. Industrial England. Not exactly cheering?

Newsletter August 2015

Time to remind oneself of what we left behind.

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015

Views of which we will never tire

Stableford. Asia. Tuesday 25/8

No comments on weather conditions to hand but the high scoring suggests they were near perfect. Chris Slattery comes and goes but his form doesn’t. Another excellent performance earned a handicap reduction which, at his level, is an achievement. The Ladies’ winner didn’t take long to get back into her stride after her summer absence. Both very competitive performers.

1st 38 Lotta Syversen (cut o.6 to 12.0)
2nd 36 Kate Bradley
3rd 35 Ria Van Wershoven

1st 39 Chris Slattery (cut 0.5 to 4.3)
2nd 38 Peter Penney
3rd 36 Bill Field

Newsletter August 2015
Newsletter August 2015
Kate & Ria
Newsletter August 2015
Blue Peter
Newsletter August 2015
Big Bill

Another person demonstrating a new lease of life , after opting to move to the blue tees, is Peter Penney. Unlike others of antique vintage Peter has yet to lose much distance off the tee, and that makes a big difference. The rewarding wine is always welcome in his household too. As he might well have said himself “There is no cure for birth and death so why not enjoy the interval?”

Bramble plus. Asia. Saturday 29/8

It has come to be known that the “Thursday Boys” spearheaded by Arthur O’Connor, still trying to eradicate pictures of himself not in shorts, have conceived a number of variations on the now well worn but popular Bramble theme. These will become known on Captains’ Choice days to come. Meanwhile, activity for August came to an end with some quite extraordinary scoring and a winning margin which, had a racehorse been involved, would certainly have led to a Stewards Enquiry. Possibly a drugs test! There were indeed calls for a re-count but Vice Captain Vic Hilliard was able to confirm that all cards had been scrutinised, the simple fact being that all four of the triumphant team played “out of their socks” as some say.

1st 151 repeat 151 !! Richard Hinds, Wendy Hinds, Cees Lagerwerf, Pauline Hilliard
2nd 140 Damien Murphy, Martin Hornsby Louis Lentelink, Vivienne Youngs
3rd 140 Peter Bradley, Lilly Lagerwerf, Terry Morgan, Mike Fisher
4th 140 Pearl Fisher, Johan van Wershoven, Les Wicks, Bill Field.

Three places were settled on handicap.
For those not conversant with this particular form of Bramble, please note that teams are of four. All drive off. The best drive is chosen and everyone plays their own ball from that point on. The owner of the drive chosen scores double. Adjustments are made for teams of three.

Newsletter August 2015
Cees, Wendy, Pauline, Richard
Newsletter August 2015
Damien, Vivienne, Martin, Louis
Newsletter August 2015
Mike, Lilly, Terry, Peter
Newsletter August 2015
Les, Pearl, Bill, Johan

When Dragons belch and Hippos flee

Members will be familiar with this opening line of “We can Rule you Wholesale”, the national anthem of Ankh-Morpork. It is a parody of the song “Rule, Brittania” of which I am reminded as the day’s dark
clouds turn to gloom and darkness threatens. Despite it all, the Coming of Corbyn, the overflowing House of Lords, the many things about which we Brits grumble, we are what we are? The land of our birth will always have a place in our hearts. but I will be jolly glad to get back to La Cala next week! Just about the time this edition might hit the web site. It’s been a struggle month, that’s for sure.

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