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Newsletter March 2016

Newsletter March 2016

The Secret of Story Telling

According to Pope Francis, in his address to 6 million people in Manila last year, the human brain can remember things set in triplets easier. As far back as Aristotle three has been toted as the magic number, and a strong rhetorical device. Now here we are in the third month of the year with a current magazine advising that the pen remains not only mightier than the sword but than the keyboard too! Reverting to traditional pen and ink, it continues, may have cognitive and therapeutic benefits. It so happens that my desk drawers do contain both fountain pen and a bottle of Mont Blanc blue/black ink of indeterminate age and which may well have coagulated by now! My desktop also sports a wad of blotting paper, cream in shade, somewhat frayed at the edges, but both a nice soft cushion for the keyboard as well as a daily reminder of Paper Trade days gone by. Some of our younger members, or certainly children of, might not even know what blotting paper is? For this admitted scribbler it is not a challenge to know that Samuel Richardson, author of Clarissa, used a goose quill and vellum in the production of his 1534 page masterpiece. Members will have to accept that my left frontal and parietal areas are not being used to their full potential. Sorry about that. When we get to World Story Telling Day on the 23rd, though, I may have to rummage in that drawer.

Newsletter March 2016

March, it is said “Comes in like a lion, and out like a lamb”. It is the first month of Spring. National Nutrition Month in some parts of our world. National Celery Month in others! All down to Mars, the Roman god of war, and those those loveable boys, Romulus and Remus, brought up by a she wolf and eventually builders of Rome, on the Tiber river.

Newsletter March 2016

(ED> Oh! Get on with it, Jack.)


Stableford. America. Tuesday 1st.

1st 35 Wendy Hinds (cut 0.5 to 35.5)
2nd 34 Jill Davies
3rd 34 Jenny Chesterton (on handicap)

1st 39 Bob Rainbow (cut 1.4 to 10.8)
2nd 32 Alan Jewett
3rd 32 David Lansdowne (on handicap)

Newsletter March 2016
Jill, Wendy & Jenny
Newsletter March 2016
Alan, Bob & David

How refreshingly pleasant to see new faces leading the respective packs, although Wendy does seem to step forward quite a bit as a dependable team member. Bob, for whom it is said The Kinks wrote their hit “Dedicated follower of fashion” some years back, certainly adds colour and a certain uniqueness to the club’s sartorial and tonsorial scenes.

Newsletter March 2016

Bramble. Asia. Sunday 6th

The sun shone but with little warmth. Play was bunched much of the way, especially on the front nine when there were often four flights on the same hole, two able to chat and exchange banter whilst waiting for a chance to play. Not much fun. We seemed to be waiting longer than Cuba did for The Rolling Stones.

Newsletter March 2016
Rolling Stones in Cuba

Added to which the glassy greens foxed most players. Even so, with only two cards scoring, the winners’ average of 5.61 per hole was worthy of success.

1st 101 Richard Hines, Jing Krupa, Bob Rainbow, Darius Janiszewski
2nd 99 Roy Davies, Lars Karlmark, George Kirk, Wendy Hinds
3rd 99 Gordon Edwards, Joop Peels, Alan & Connor Jewett (on handicap)
4th 96 Jill Davies, David Millar, Les Wicks, Vic Hilliard

Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016

The field was somewhat depleted. Partly because of the South African absentees but also the conflict with the “International Women’s Day” tournament. Even so there were enough on hand at the prize giving to applaud Jill Davies for her recent Hole-in-One on America’s 16th. Her choice of club would normally have been an 8 iron, it is understood, but a howling wind called for more and it was her 6 which earned the certificate and plaudits. Well done, Jill.

Newsletter March 2016

To use the word epidemic in relation to Brambles would be unkind, the inference being that it has become a disease, whereas, in fact, the majority of members appear to enjoy the format. Rife perhaps? Rampant? Widespread? Kinder adjectives probably. Certainly it is a sociable format with the less numerate needing advice on when to play and how to calculate at the end when rebates and discounts come into play.
There is a related story doing the rounds and involving a senior male member steeped in Bramble experiences. On Asia’s 3rd his tee shot finished in the rubbish well to the right of the hole and close to the wall. His two companions were on the green and debating which putt to take when a mis-hit chip moved a ball a few metres down the slope. Someone had forgotten the system!! So, the other two had to pick up their balls and climb up to a much less appealing place from which to play!! How to win friends and influence people?

By the way, still in Bramble mode, it should be admitted that there was a photographic error last month. See page 15 if sufficiently interested. In 5th place were not the team illustrated but David Evans, Ritva Hagglund, James Thomas, and Joop Peels, whose team photo is now shown.

Newsletter March 2016

International Women’s day. America. Sunday 6th.

This was not a members’ competition but one arranged by La Cala Resort and open to all. It was well organised, with decent prizes and hospitality. A total of 48 entries of which 14 were our ladies. There will doubtless be a full report and pictures elsewhere but, for our little newsletter, some scores for our entrants were:

2nd 33 Ritva Haglund
5th 31 Jenny Chesterton
10th 27 Carol Rees
11th 27 Karen O’Connor
13th 25 Lotta Syversen
17th 22 Sonya Foster

The IWD golf event was but one of many world wide with the “Pledge for Parity” campaign theme. It is probably dangerous ground to be treading here but it is amazing to think it is more than a century ago that the first and most famous suffragette chained herself to some well known London railings. Much ground has been made up but even to this day the pay gap in the UK is 9.4%. Female techies at the SMX Conference in America currently claim vociferously that the opportunity gap is much greater and that progress in their direction is slow. Here, at La Cala Golf Club, it would be fair to suggest that we have the equality issue under reasonable control? ( Exit left swiftly.)
It is said somewhere that God made Man at the end of the week when he was rather tired
Later this month, on the 23rd., to be exact, it is World Story Telling Day, born in Sweden about 1991 but now recognised throughout Scandanavia via the story telling website Ratakosk. Coincidentally “Strong Women” is on the agenda for 2016. One wonders whether tennis officials in Indian Wells are aware?


Stableford. Asia. Tuesday 8th.

The weather was unexpectedly nice after the gale force wind and heavy rain of yesterday afternoon. The wind able to turn over plant pots and re-arrange terrace furniture. It was still a force to be reckoned with today, together with greens still too slick for many, but the fairways were firm enough to allow buggies, which surprised most of us.

1st 33 Paula Lansdowne
2nd 30 Wendy Fretwell
3rd 26 Jill Davies

1st 36 Arthur O’Connor
2nd 34 George Kirk
3rd 32 Mike Tait

There were no handicap adjustments, up or down.


Seniors v Alcaidesa. Europa. 11th.

The result of this match was a draw 1.5 v 1.5 but of greater and more pleasurable significance is the fact that this newsletter is able to include a report on the proceedings. To mark this special occasion, and to recognise the submission as a brave response to recent challenges, it is included in its entirety.
“As is common practise we welcomed the opposition with coffee and a few ribald comments to some of their guys who have become regular opponents in this and other inter-club matches. The pairings of Richard Hinds/Danny Rees. Arthur O’Connor/David Evans, Thomas Widegrun/Vic Hilliard respectively took battle with them on Campo Europa and all three games came down to the last putt on the last green! Our first pair lost having been 2 up with three to play. The second pair won and the third salvaged half a point. Many comments, mostly unprintable, were made alongside the usual pleasantries over a lunch of baked Rosada that was enjoyed by all. The return match at Alcaidesa cannot be played until 29/4 because of fixture congestion on their course. It appears that the Norwegian golf association takes over their facilities for two months.”
It is, of course, a pity that no camera was in action but then the world is never perfect?


A welcome return to the Hillsides

Newsletter March 2016
Land of our fathers foursome

It seems remarks about the St.David’s Day menu were perceived as being lukewarm in complimentary terms, which was far from the intention. It is true that, for example, not having David Evan’s kitchen skills, my appreciation of his product may have been understated. Let us correct the situation. If I’ve got the story right Bara Brith means speckled bread whilst actually being more of a cake, as can be seen in the picture below.

Newsletter March 2016

It is often linked with Mamgu, meaning grandma, thus strengthening the tradition of a recipe handed down through the ages. Just to emphasise, the cake was delicious, and substantial. Bit like Christmas pudding which is fine once a year but not to be recommended to anyone with a permanent weight problem.

Whilst by no stretch of the imagination could David qualify as a mamgu he does have some strange outfits in his wardrobe. See picture.

Newsletter March 2016
Good Evans!

Your editor was confronted in the clubhouse by a seemingly indignant wearer of strange aprons, although not at the time, it not being appropriate in a public place. His view was that my report should have contained more details of the delicacies available on St. David’s Day. A subsequent request for such details has failed to solicit a response. Meanwhile,it transpires, the protester did not personally create any of the goodies about which he purportedly felt so strongly!


Asia’s Eleventh Hole

The tee is one of the highest points in the complex. The wind can often be frightening in its ferocity. Before Los Colinas came into being the tee-to-green layout was entirely different and there was a large net behind the green to protect players from the group behind, the idea then being to play up once those in front had reached the green and taken “shelter”. With new and adjacent properties within easy reach, especially given help by the wind, the hole was transformed, the green moved, a lot of growth replaced with fairway BUT the historic, white, goat/sheep shelter remained. A familiar landmark which prompted much speculation. Now it is no more. Demolished and waiting to be removed. It will be missed by many.

Newsletter March 2016


Hats off to Maggie Coombs

This ever popular Past Captain returned to the limelight with a Hole-in-One for which she was duly rewarded before an approving bunch of members.

Newsletter March 2016

A 4 rescue club brought her success on Asia’s 11th., the first time on this course but not the first time for her. Twice on America’s 4th(almost unbelievable)and once on the signature hole 16th. Four in all. Wonderful, but still a way to go to catch Edna Sullivan!

England 9 v Rest of World 6. Europa. Sunday 13

The 13th proved unlucky for the massed might of the World team. A mini Brexit one could say? England can cope alone, sort of thing? Mind you, diverting for a moment, what an unimaginative word is Brexit? Surely we could have done better? Anyway, back to the story line, which began with pro-shop and buggy desk in organised chaos. Players milling everywhere, reminiscent of Waterloo Station in the rush hour, or a bar offering free drinks. Nor were these geminoids, controlled robots which, it is claimed, will have formed a society of their own in 3/5 years time! Things got worse for Danny Rees and Tomas Widegrun, their buggy “exploding” at the reservoir entrance, leaving a trail of black residue in its wake and the need for a replacement vehicle.

Eventually play got under way and in friendly conditions, it soon getting warm enough for sweaters to be discarded by most. Length of playing time varied enormously but eventually prize giving got under way, somewhat later than usual, before a mildly raucous gathering with whom the Rain Goddess had to remonstrate. Wendy Hinds, captain of the winning team, stepped forward to receive the trophy, after which bottles of wine were distributed to all pairs who won, and not just those in the winning team.

Newsletter March 2016

James Reid, a rugby union addict, still smiling after England’s Grand Slam success, came suitably attired and, understandably, made sure he was in the front row for the team photo. Taken, incidentally, after the official photographer and team member, had gone home!

Newsletter March 2016

Mention should be made, and thanks given, to the ladies representing Speed Financial Solutions who generously sponsored the event, providing goodies on the 10th tee and most of the wine prizes later. We hope their investment will be rewarded. They have been coming along for some years now.

Stableford. America. Tuesday. 15th.

It is easy to wax lyrical when lying in a warm early morning bed, well rested and watching the sun rising from the Mediterranean, changing the colours and formats of the clouds, creating dramatic designs or banishing them altogether. This morning was not one of those. The sky was grey and our very own Table Mountain surrounded by drifting clumps of mist as, out at sea, the sun struggled weakly to make an impact. Even now, as the keyboard assists the writing of this report, the argument is not ended. Late afternoon and a draw looks likely. Earlier, when playing, euphemistically speaking that is, the conditions were not too bad but America had been shorn, crewcut length grass on the fairways, doubtless in the build up to the course’s closure next week. Necessary maybe, but an added hardship for the average player, from whose ranks some still seek escape.

Like David Moody, who is well known for his ever changing obsessions with the technicalities of swing, stance, posture, grip, alignment, etc. As a fairly regular playing partner it has not escaped one’s attention that fads, seemingly set in stone one month, are not only overtaken by new ideas but actually dismissed as though they had never existed, never occupied his total attention. Remember tilt and wiggle, or slap and tickle, whatever? All rubbish it now seems. Shallow driving is the in thing, draw creation all important, feet position irrelevant other than for balance. Add to this “popping” the ball in the hole and you have the reigning David enthusiasm. To be fair he did get 20 points on the back nine this morning! To which Johan responded drily “Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn occasionally”.

Venerable Erling Johnsen was in sound form throughout but for much of the round appeared to be in a world of his own, not responding to the customary banter, and frequently apologising for not being able to hear very well. Despite his hearing aid. Later in the proceedings he discovered that it wasn’t actually switched on! Hey presto, the old Erling was back!

1st 39 Wendy Fretwell (cut 1.7 to 25.0)
2nd 39 Maggie Coombs (cut 1.7 to 24.8)(on handicap)
3rd 37 Pauline Hilliard (cut 0.8 to 23.0)

1st 40 George Kirk (cut 1.7 to 11.6)
2nd 38 Bruno Schaefer (cut 0.4 to 4.1)
3rd 36 Bobo Syversen (cut 0.2 to 5.4)

Unfortunately few were available for photographs at the relevant prize giving.

Good performances from Wendy and George? Bet whoever he’s got in the next round of the singles will be not be looking forward to their encounter!!
Something interesting, and possibly trend setting, happened today. Dean Moore and Les Wicks, the Early Early Birds, tee-d off at 0800, walking, an hour and a half ahead of the field. To escape the time sheet bookings they had to make their own, play the same course, obey the same rules, to qualify for the competition. They got round in 3 hours 20 minutes and plan to continue this routine, the possible drawback to which is that the reservations desk might pair them with guests. Quite likely with the resort being so busy. The solution, of course, is to recruit two other members and thought is being given to this by a handful. The committee are quite happy with this development it seems. One wonders whether late tee offs would be so welcome? Why not?

Bits and pieces

Happy Birthday greetings to Captain Pauline Hilliard(18th)who very kindly provided cava and cakes to those lucky enough to be playing/in the clubhouse the previous day. Kisses from the men were delivered by proxy via husband Vic. Who seemed to quite enjoy his role…….Past Captain Mike Fisher appears to have set new food and drink consumption records during his and Pearl’s six week stint in South Africa. In our picture both he and Louis Lentelink appear happy, replete and well watered?…….

Newsletter March 2016

……….. The re-positioning of trees on the courses continues and whilst they look stark and lifeless now experience tells they they will eventually add to the character of the place………….

Newsletter March 2016

……ElLA CALAmity seems to have done a runner but we are pleased to welcome a new contributor, a cartoonist, whose work is featured on an earlier page but, we hope, will become a regular feature. All members are potential targets………Music lovers might like to catch up with Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats whose rhythm and lyrics are unbelieveable. “I need never get old” is a current hit?………Worrying news just in is that Sten Valentin has suffered a heart problem whilst in Portugal and is to undergo a triple bypass operation on Monday 28th. Naturally we all wish such an established and popular member a complete and speedy recovery………Interesting to note that Twitter shares have dropped, and users stagnating. Only 340 million at the end of first quarter!!………Unconfirmed rumour has it that the monthly Ladies’ Social Day is no more? Numbers have swollen for the growingly popular Ladies Roll Up(Sounds like Dell’ boy in the market?)but quite why this should see the end of the post play meal and gentle steps towards inebriation is not clear…….What is far from being a rumour is the fact that our Ladies lost their match v Bavaria on Thursday 24th.,but “had a wonderful day”. The score and individual records remain secret but the team was captained by Connie Maphar and included Lilly Lagerwerf, Ria Van Wershoven, Lotta Syversen, Ritva Hagglund and Carol Rees.The absence of detail and pictures may reflect the fact that the match was lost.

St. Patrick’s Day Event. Europa. Sunday 20th.

Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016
Domestic winners

This was not a club competition but, for a welcome change, it was won by club members. Jill and Roy Davies amassed 43 points between them, holding off the usual Spanish challenge by the narrowest of margins. The victory cost them in terms of handicap although how this is calculated has provoked some discussion. Jill – 0.3 to 13.6 and hubby 0.2 to 10.5. They put a lot into their golf, and keeping in shape, so deserved winners.

Newsletter March 2016

Ana Trigo Casanueva and Rosa Castillo Valderrama were second with 42 points and, although is is pure speculation, might well have been the two ladies celebrating colourfully and distinctively later, as the pictures may show.

Easier to spell Carol and Danny Rees were third with 40 points, on handicap from the Van Wershovens and Fretwells.

The dining area looked attractive and the Irish Stew, which most folk chose, proved tasty as well as traditional. A point to be emphasised after last year’s contretemps!

Newsletter March 2016
Third place Reece’s
Newsletter March 2016
Fourth Ria & Johan
Newsletter March 2016
Fretwells in fifth spot

There were prizes for the best dressed buggy and best dressed couple, the former going to Lorraine and Damien Murphy. Initially the latter went to our Captains but the adjudicating committee(themselves)decided there had been a mistaken assessment so handed their prizes to the colourfully rigged out Irish ladies who really stole the show.
Merv Coombs won Nearest the Pin and there were no objections.

Newsletter March 2016
Best dressed buggy Damien & Lorraine
Newsletter March 2016
Nearest the pin Merv

All in all it was a well organised and enjoyable day. Full marks to newcomer Alfredo Calle and his team. Most people entered into the full spirit of the day, as the following photographs may illustrate.

Newsletter March 2016

Not least amongst those determined to add to the jollifications was Will Jackson, the poor man’s George Melly. Appropriately dressed in green, and wearing a curious hat, Will occupied centre stage for a while, quite late in the proceedings, as was apparent, and offering a kind of melodic monologue which included a repetitive chant. One can say that it was a unique performance. The song(?)may not prove to be memorable, and certainly the lyrics are not repeatable in this family read. Will has been seriously unwell of late, but remains perky in the face of adversity. Unfortunately, he also suffers from microphoneitus, an inability to pass one without bursting into song. Let us hope he makes a full recover from both illnesses.

Medal Europa. Tuesday 22nd.

The Los Altos D Block AGM denied this reporter the chance to qualify for October’s Big Day, but probably saved him from joining the ranks of those with remarkable tales to tell. Alan Jewett, for example, had a 13 on his card but still finished with a nett 76 and getting his handicap cut 0.4 to 9.2 even though he didn’t figure in the prize winners arena.

1st 73 Lotta Syversen
2nd 74 Jenny Chesterton
3rd 75 Ritva Hagglund

1st 68 Roger Dew (Cut 0.6 to 6.5)
2nd 70 Johan Van Wershoven (Cut 0.4 to 19.2)
3rd 71 Roy Davies

Newsletter March 2016
Ritva, Jenny & Lotta
Newsletter March 2016

As Roger has already qualified for the Medal Finals Day it means that Johan steps forward and is already excited by the prospect. One hopes he enjoys the experience more than your editor some years ago, the story of which has already bored enough members.

A charitable challenge

Mike Fisher needs to lose the weight he put on in South Africa. Your scribbler certainly needs to shed at least half a stone. Bill Field might be tempted to join in. David Moody’s passion for food probably makes it difficult to rise to the suggestion. What about a weight loss competition with the proceeds going to Cudeca, or the charity of the winner’s choice? Spread it over two months, say? Interested parties please contact me and details will be forthcoming.

Newsletter March 2016

Rainbow Scramble. Asia. Sunday 27th.

Easter Sunday dawned bright, dry, and reasonably warm, conditions conducive to good scores, some of which were forthcoming. Asia is not everyone’s favourite course, and with so little grass at the moment, some grumbles were bound to be heard. Indeed those about the 2nd hole bordered on the profane, not at all appropriate on such a religious day. The bottom left hand corner, always ready to welcome and swallow up balls, had its doors wide open. One shot hit the path to the right of the green, ran up it a short distance, turned left, went right across to the left side buggy path, descended it with gathering speed, past the tree, that tree, and disappeared into the undergrowth. The striker of the ball was not well pleased.

Those who managed to handle things best throughout were’

1st. 57.4 Bobo Syversen with guests Janys & Ulrika.
2nd 59.3 Ron Chesterton, Richard Hines, Sonya Foster, Achim Schmidt
3rd 63.0 Vic Hilliard, Libbr Robinson, Gordon Edwards, Monique Peters
4th 63.1 Danny Rees, Karl Haas, Sorcha Whelan, Wendy Hinds

Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016
Newsletter March 2016

After the prize giving there was a Lucky Losers’ Draw which enabled one member of each of the other eight competing teams to go home with a nicely boxed Easter Egg. A nice thought.

Stableford. Europa. Tuesday 29th.

A beautiful day for playing golf. A mere zephyr ruffling the hair occasionally but otherwise it was shirt sleeves for most. Unfortunately, it being the last competitive action of the month, and the prize giving not being until April, there are no pictures to illustrate the following list of best results (provisional results – subject to official confirmation).

1st 41 Pearl Fisher
2nd 37 Ritva Hagglund
3rd 36 Carol Rees

1st 37 Mike Fisher
2nd 35 John Brooks
3rd 33 Jack Perry

Jubilation in the Fisher household, and rightly so. We could hear Pearl’s excitement two floors up!! Must be her best ever score? Pictures to follow next month.

March in action

Newsletter March 2016


What do you think of the newsletter so far?

Newsletter March 2016


A thought for April

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

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